I shouldn't have had them chocolate milks

    Oof! Friday. Yay! It's pizza night! Ever since I have been working at the casino (roughly 8 years ago), I have been having pizza on Friday's. My own little personal tradition I suppose. I mean. I imagine a number of families or individuals have pizza on Friday's. So I say you can definitely lump me into the herd. 

    So. Middle of February. I still haven't went to the doctor for a midlife checkup. I keep putting it off. Anxiety and fear of course. What else right? I have been up and down emotionally lately. A number of causes for sure. Family incidents. Work dread. Raising a little one to be good kid. I fucked up and revealed some feelings and true emotions to my wife last night. I always seem to fail when I try an justify my behavior. Which has been mixed lately. The thing I need to work on is how I bring up real tough feelings without sounding narcissistic, suicidal or angry. I say things, but in reality, do not mean them. Conveying feelings and emotion has been a hassle for me lately. I never wanted to consider myself a narcissistic person, but the mirror keep hanging in front of my head showing the true me. So self awareness has been a personal task ever since last nights heavy conversation. My love for Chrystal knows no bounds. I am privileged to be her husband. She does so much for me. I am eternally grateful. 

    I need to work on being understanding of the situation I am in. I know I wish other things happened in my life. But this path I have chosen. These people I have in my circle. Is the reality. I need to stay strong and be the worker, father and husband I need to be.

    I have moved into the living room. I have no man cave/laptop no more. There goes having a door to shut people out. Just kidding. Now my son will be able to do what I just said. He needs to have his own space. I did when I was his age. When I was his age. I was living in what is called 1st HUD. We lived in two houses in 1st HUD before we moved to Haley Creek. From about 1981 to 1989, 1st HUD and east side Omak were my stomping grounds. Also what we called The Valley (Kartar Valley) and a couple places in Desautel and HWY 155. I wish my son had the same life as me, but would he be the person he is?

    I have been listening to some CD's in the car again. Right now it's:

    It's been a clutter in the house ever since we started moving me out of the man cave. It's like when a flood happens and the water recedes back to regular depth. Looking forward to having the new TV I bought setup. I bought my wife a 55 inch smart TV. Still haven't set it up because of this move. The thing is, Nathan built a life in the living room, dining room and master bedroom. Now he is condensing all of it into the room I was in. I need some things. More vinyl storage. Tables for my comics. I want a new recliner. Gonna be keeping my eye out for one. I need a stable sturdy one for my weight. 

So glad I own this! One one of my recent faves!

    Band is going good. Khaos Driver is in writing mode. We want to play more originals. It's nice to know the covers we do, but they can be a crutch, and a laurel to rest on, so creativity is key right now. I personally wish our songwriting were faster, but I have to respect my bandmates process and way of writing. I do have ideas for Scablander. Even for live performance. For both projects, I want to see if I can start doing shows in the Events Center of the 12 Tribes Casino, as opposed to getting rejected asking for the Logger's Pub Stage. We'll see. I still am working up the courage and pitch.

    Thanks for reading. I started sharing my life on Head of Devin again for the sheer simplicity of journal writing aspect of blogging. So bear with me, please. 

Albums released on this day:

HAIL QUORTHON!!

Ciao)))